Parent Resource · ASPP Mental Performance Partnership
Supporting Your Athlete Through Tryouts
Tryouts can make the entire family feel like everything is being judged.
Your athlete already has evaluators. Your role is to help them prepare, compete, and recover without becoming another person they feel they have to impress.
Start Here
Your athlete does not need another evaluator at home
During tryouts, athletes may already be thinking about coaches, roster spots, other players, mistakes, and whether they are doing enough.
Parents can help by making home and the ride to and from tryouts feel different.
The goal is not to pretend selection does not matter.
The goal is to support the athlete without adding another layer of judgment.
Before the tryout
Help them prepare without increasing the pressure
What would feel helpful?
Let the athlete tell you what kind of support they want.
Try:
“Is there anything you want from me before tryouts?”
Focus on preparation, not prediction
Help with the things that can actually be handled before the tryout.
Sleep. Food. Transportation. Equipment. Schedule. Recovery.
Let the athlete compete the tryout
You can support preparation without taking responsibility for how the tryout goes.
What this can sound like
Simple language before the tryout
“You don't have to prove everything today. Just go compete.”
“You can't control the final decision. You can control how you show up.”
“I'm proud of you for putting yourself in the arena.”
“Have fun competing. I'll be here afterward.”
What often adds pressure
Try not to make every conversation about selection
Even supportive questions can become another reminder that the athlete is being evaluated.
“Do you think you made the team?”
This asks the athlete to evaluate the entire tryout before they even know the result.
“Who looked better than you?”
Constant comparison can pull attention away from the athlete's own performance and learning.
“You need to stand out more.”
This can push athletes toward forcing plays or trying to make every rep spectacular.
“You can't mess up tomorrow.”
Trying to avoid mistakes often creates more tension and hesitation.
During the tryout
Let the athlete stay inside the environment
If you are watching, try not to coach from the sideline, signal reactions, or visibly grade every rep.
The athlete is already processing enough information.
Your job during the evaluation is often simply to be a steady presence.
After the tryout
Reconnect before you evaluate
Start with the person
“How are you feeling?”
“I'm glad I got to watch you compete.”
Find out what they want
“Do you want to talk about how it went, or would you rather have some space?”
Let their experience come first
Give the athlete room to describe the tryout before offering your own evaluation.
While you're waiting
The tryout is over. The decision is not yours to solve.
Waiting for results can create a second round of evaluation pressure.
Help your athlete return to normal life rather than replaying the tryout all evening.
You can say:
“You've done what you can do. We'll deal with the result when it comes.”
If they make the team
Celebrate without making selection their identity
Making the team is worth celebrating.
You can also reinforce the process that got them there: preparation, courage, effort, persistence, and how they competed under evaluation.
If they don't make the team
Let disappointment be disappointment
You do not have to immediately turn the result into a lesson.
Start by acknowledging what happened:
“I know how much you wanted this.”
“It makes sense that you're disappointed.”
Reflection and next steps can come later.
Keep this in mind
Your athlete already has evaluators
Your relationship can be the place where they do not have to perform.
Support preparation. Stay steady during the evaluation. Listen afterward.
Individual Support
Want more individualized support?
If tryouts, selection pressure, confidence, disappointment, or fear of evaluation are becoming difficult for your athlete, ASPP offers one-on-one non-clinical mental-performance coaching for athletes and families.